This post was originally sent through my author newsletter on July 15, 2022. To subscribe to my newsletter and receive up-to-date news, musings, and more, click HERE.
You may or may not have noticed (especially if you're a newer subscriber here), but I've been following monthly themes with this newsletter. In May, I wrote about ideas. In June, it was routine. And in July...well, I'd had other plans, but my newsletter two weeks ago ended up being about disappointment. I think it's healthy and important to talk about disappointment! So, I'm going to meditate on that a bit more today.
But never fear! This missive won't be all doom and gloom.
To kick things off, I have some Very Exciting News to share with you!
I've sold another book!
It hasn't been formally announced yet, but I expect the announcement to go out soon—and I did promise that my newsletter subscribers would be among the first to find out when I had good news.
This new book will be my middle-grade (ages 8-12) debut! It's a riff on "The X-Files," about two 7th-grade girls, one a true believer in the paranormal and the other a science-minded skeptic, who team up to investigate a crop circle phenomenon in their hometown for a regional science fair. I co-wrote this book with MarcyKate Connolly, an amazing MG fantasy author. She wrote the chapters from the point of view of Cat, the true believer, while I wrote from the point of view of Dani, the wannabe scientist. The book was acquired by Feiwel & Friends, an imprint of Macmillan, and is scheduled to hit shelves in early 2024. (We're about to start our first official round of edits with our new editor.)
If you've known me for any length of time in real life, you probably know that I was an "X-Files" fanatic as a teenager. I came up with the idea for this book while rewatching the entire series in anticipation of the new seasons being released a few years ago. I reached out to MarcyKate, who I knew from being in a debut group together in 2015, and she agreed to give co-writing a shot. Turns out, much like our two protagonists, we make a great team!
I believed in this idea from the very start. But, as I shared two weeks ago, believing in something doesn't guarantee that it will happen. I've been thinking recently about the two books I tried to sell in between How It Feels to Fly and Tally Tuttle Turns into a Turtle. Books I believed in. Books I loved writing and was sure people would love reading.
Like my grad school thesis—the YA-turned-MG about living subway trains (and, in later versions, a host of other magical creatures as well). My husband and I have recently been taking the kiddo on the subway a bit more often, and she finds the whole experience so exciting! Last weekend, I watched the headlights of an approaching train brighten the dark tunnel, and I remembered writing those headlights as glowing eyes. I remembered my main character's astonishment at learning that the train's resting rumble was actually a living creature's contented purr. I remembered her feeling the pulse of its blood pumping beneath her feet and how, when she touched its shiny silver side, its skin would twitch beneath her fingertips.
I miss that book.
I've also been thinking about the book I hoped would be my third YA novel, a ghost story set in Venice, Italy, about two sisters—one living, one dead—finding their way in a new city and a new, unhappy reality. It was the darkest thing I'd written, and still is. I also think it's probably the most beautiful. There are passages of prose in that story that I am so very proud to have written. There are pages that made me cry.
In retrospect, I can see reasons both books didn't sell. The subway book—especially the rewritten-from-scratch version I tried to sell circa 2018—has some world-building issues. Meanwhile, the ghost story wasn't intended to be scary, but still had a tinge of horror; I'm not sure I ever got the balance quite right. The market certainly played a role in those projects not getting acquired, but I don't think the rejections were solely market-based.
When the magical subway book and the Venice book didn't sell, I was horribly disappointed. Living subway trains were such a fun idea! My ghost story was so well-written! Why weren't editors lining up to make me an offer?! Years later, I can see the cracks in both projects—flaws an editor may or may not have been able to help me fix. Hindsight is 20-20.
There are a lot of shades of disappointment when a project doesn't work out. Of course, there's the disappointment of spending years on something that will never reach bookshelves (or, frankly, garner a paycheck). But there's also the disappointment of knowing an idea didn't fully reach its potential. Of wanting, desperately, to see it through. There's disappointment in letting go.
I don't know if I'll ever return to the ghost story. I look at it now and see something that is flawed, but at the same time, complete. It is what it needed to be—even if what it needed to be isn't something that's ever going to be published. I told the tale I set out to tell. I became a better writer in the process. I dug deeper.
But the subway book...looking at my daughter's lit-up face as the R train pulled into the station last Sunday made me think maybe that idea still has life in it. Maybe it won't look at all like what came before. Maybe I scrap 70,000 words and go back to the blank page and the idea and see what new magic I can make.
One book feels done. At rest. The other still beckons to me. Maybe one day, I'll find a way to listen to its call.
Next week, you'll get the fourth installment of Creating While Parenting, the short interview series I'm running this summer with fellow parents who work in creative fields! I've got another amazing author on deck...
What I'm:
Reading: I just finished Katie Cotugno’s adult debut, Birds of California, about a former child actress who left Hollywood behind...only to find out her show is being rebooted. A visit from her former costar—and crush—brings her back into the spotlight, whether she likes it or not. This is a wonderfully told story of trauma and recovery, on top of being a great romance. Two thumbs up.
Watching: Okay, who's started the new season of "Westworld"? Unlike season 3, so far season 4 is both consistently compelling and actually makes sense. Imagine that! I'm really curious to see where it goes in the next few weeks... (Also, "Ms. Marvel" stuck the landing! Huzzah!)
Eating: So many cupcakes. When we had to postpone my daughter's birthday party due to Covid, we lost a bunch of guests, but the supplies had already been ordered! Not that I'm complaining too much about having a lot of leftover cupcakes in the fridge...
Loving: Exploring the city I love! Here's my daughter at the Irish Hunger Memorial in Lower Manhattan last weekend. (Also, is it just me, or does she practically look like a teenager here?!)
